


Oh Sith Shit

by Allise



Series: Clone Wars Shenanigans and Self Indulgences [3]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Everyone loves Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Protective Anakin Skywalker, Protective Darksiders, Sithnip! Obi-Wan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allise/pseuds/Allise
Summary: Anakin definitely cannot be blamed for his protectiveness over Obi-Wan. The man just attracts trouble no matter where in the universe he goes! Not to mention! Just the amount of criminals that seem to flock towards him!It's absolutely ridiculous. This is honestly the reason why everyone calls him "Sithnip."
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Everyone
Series: Clone Wars Shenanigans and Self Indulgences [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792738
Comments: 28
Kudos: 917





	Oh Sith Shit

**Author's Note:**

> I just love the idea that everyone's just fucking obsessed with this guy. It's the best.
> 
> (Jango doesn't die because I said so)

Anakin cannot be blamed for his exasperation. No one is allowed to judge him for being as protective as he is about his former master- because Obi-Wan always seems to be a few seconds away from crossing paths with another darksider or dangerous enemy who would love nothing more than to take Obi-Wan’s head from his shoulders when they first meet.

It’s not the fact that his best friend always seems to fall into the most ridiculous and dangerous situations, but it is in fact, the aftermath of those altercations. No matter what happens, no matter how many times Anakin points it out, no matter how dark (or frankly, crazy) the opponent is, they always end up following Obi-Wan like puppies. There’s something alluring in the ginger, a lightness in the Force that wraps around the man like a protective blanket that seems to draw in the nastiest of the nasties. In fact, it happens so often that Obi-Wan’s been called “Sithnip” by other Jedi- all in good fun of course. There are times where this so-called ability to draw in other dangerous people have been greatly beneficial to them. Especially since they all seem to be as concerned with Obi-Wan’s safety as Anakin is. 

The first time he’s made aware of this doesn’t even happen on a mission. Actually, it’s not even dangerous. The first time he realizes it is when Obi-Wan takes him out to Dex’s for his 15th name day and is finally told of how Dex and his master had met. Dex used to be a former arms dealer, and even now still has connections to the Underworld, though he’s left that all behind when Obi-Wan inserted himself rather neatly into the Basilisk’s life. 

Of course, Obi-Wan had protested Dex telling Anakin about how they met, but the former criminal had only winked and then proceeded to tell him the story, albeit, an age appropriate one for him. Apparently, Dex and Obi-Wan had met when the Basilisk had dropped a few bottles of. . . something that he didn’t want to disclose, when the then Padawan Kenobi had happened upon him, chained and gagged and being dragged towards a ship. While still a criminal, Dex had a strict moral code and like hell was he going to let a kid be dragged off. 

It had started a truly beautiful friendship between the two, and even a blind man could see just how much Dex adored Obi-Wan.

But even then, he doesn’t fully realize just how much Obi-Wan attracts danger. By the time he does, he’s watching as the man charms an entire Cantina because he spotted a friend (a  _ bounty hunter  _ friend) at a bar during a mission.Though they do end up with allies when said mission goes south.

But then he watches it happen with a Sith and Anakin nearly has a heart attack as Ventress’ blades stop an inch away from Obi-Wan’s unprotected throat. Reinforcements come and she ends up running away with a scowl on her face as she leaves them alive.

And now it’s happened  _ again.  _

“Obi-Wan!” He’s not the only one staring in shock as the man appears at the loading dock with two Sith behind him; the Sith of course being Yan Dooku and his apprentice, Asajj Ventress, because of course Obi-Wan just didn’t do anything by halves.

The man sighs, exasperated but no doubt pleased at the sight of his former Padawan. “Anakin, good to see you too. You as well, Ahsoka.” He adds on once he spots the togruta only a few steps behind her master, eyes wide as she stares at the Sith- or former Sith?

If he had any less control, Anakin would be openly gaping as he took in the sight of Dooku and Ventress. He cleared his throat. “So, uh, Obi-Wan, do you mind explaining what’s happening here?”

Dooku sighs, and Anakin realizes with a jolt that the man’s eyes are brown, not the yellow that he’s seen so often. “I do believe, Knight Skywalker, that the answer is obvious.” The man replies, scorn barely hidden under the mask of politeness that the Count always seems to wear.

Obi-Wan just rolls his eyes. “Grandmaster, please-”  _ and holy shit, he called him Grandmaster, _ “-do stop antagonizing Anakin.”

“Hmm.”

Ahsoka stands by his side, leku curling in equal parts displeasure and curiosity. “Well, why are you here?”

“Sidious wanted me dead,” Ventress answers, making herself heard for the first time since they arrived. “Master Dooku didn’t agree, so we ran.”

Ahsoka’s eyes are practically bugging out of her skull and Anakin knows that he’s not doing much better. “You  _ ditched  _ being Sith!” 

“They came to find me,” Obi-Wan, the mad bastard, actually laughs, sounding pleased with himself as if this were a normal occurrence. “They asked for sanctuary amongst the Jedi, and concerning the circumstances, I agreed.”

Hmm. “And what if it’s a trap Master?” Ahsoka asks, her eyes flickering between Dooku and Ventress, her hands twitching for her weapons on her belt. 

Obi-Wan smiles, if a bit sardonically. “I’m not nearly so tired to think it out of the realm of possibilities. No, they won’t be double crossing us anytime soon, young one.” He comforts. Though the suspicion in her eyes doesn't fade completely, she nods and accepts the answer.

Speaking of. . .

“Obi-Wan, when’s the last time you’ve slept?”

The man sighs, irritation flashing in his eyes though it’s quickly swept away into the Force barely a second later. “I returned to my chambers last night, Anakin. While appreciated, you don’t need to concern yourself with my health.”

He nods, accepting the reply before doubling down. He’s been this man’s Padawan since he was nine, he knows most of his tricks by now. “Good for you, but did you actually sleep or did you just spend all night doing paperwork?”

“Anakin. . .” Obi-Wan warns, though there’s a notable exhaustion in his voice that those within hearing range pick up on.

He opens his mouth to further argue his best friend’s abysmal lack of self care when Dooku wraps an arm around the smaller man. “Grandpadawan mine, I firmly believe that your former apprentice is right.”

Obi-Wan gapes at the Count, and Anakin has to fight off a smile at how flabbergasted he looks. “Bu- wh- you two hate each other!” It’s almost endearing how Obi-Wan stutters out his protest.

Dooku merely tugs him away, Ventress stalking behind them like a guard dog on their heels. “All the more reason to do as we say.”

“Grandmaster!”

Obi-Wan’s unfortunate habit of adopting seemingly every criminal in the galaxy does not stop. 

Jango Fett (who Obi-Wan had forced him to leave with Boba at the Battle of Geonosis) stops by the Temple every few months, appearing in their chambers unprompted and most definitely illegally. Unfortunately, Obi-Wan never protests and always brews an extra cup of tea before sitting them all down to talk about Boba and the clones. But at least Anakin can tolerate the Mandalorian.

Hondo Ohnaka, however, presses each and every single one of his buttons with ease. The pirate always seems to know when they’re in space without any imminent threats, and shows up without fail to whisk Obi-Wan away for drinks. It wouldn’t be so bad if he just  _ karking asked  _ to do it, but the pirate seems all too keen on kidnapping the General. Obi-Wan never seems too bothered with it, but Anakin would really enjoy less heart attacks every time Ohnaka shows up.

And then there’s Savage and his little brother Feral (who was supposed to be  _ dead  _ but. . . isn’t? Anakin really has no clue how to deal with that information) that showed up one day and just never left. They follow Obi around like bodyguards, which Anakin really doesn’t mind them doing. Feral’s actually pretty okay, it’s just Savage that he’s a bit wary of. But he’s sure as hell not going to turn down some scary looking Zabraks from protecting his former master. Force knows that the man attracts trouble everywhere he goes.

Ahsoka turns to him one day in the cafeteria, wide-eyed and looking as though she was given her favorite dessert. “Master Obi-Wan’s amassed himself an army of Sith and bad guys, Skyguy! It’s basically a harem!”

To which, Anakin appropriately spits out his drink with a choked laugh. “Snips!”

“It’s true!”


End file.
